I want to speak about Fred Sonic Smith and Patti Smith.

I wanted to share my story, because they both touched my life in different ways and at different times.

When I was 16 & 17 years old I was in Hollywood and at that time of my life I really felt less than of any value at all. I had a lot of attitude and a lot of problems, and I really didn't have much sense of personal worth.

One time I was in Rodney Bingenheimer's under age glam rock era night club when Patti and her band came in. She was skinny as a rail and had frenetic energy and she was jumping around trying to be excited, there was something girlish and vulnerable about her. She wanted to dance and none of her band wanted to dance with her. She was like no one I'd ever seen in my life, and there was something strangely compelling and powerful about her. I yearned to step up and say "I want to dance, and I want to dance with you..." and in my heart I did so, but in truth I was too freaking scared. I think in retrospect she would have, and it's just too bad, ain't it.

About a year later, I was at a party after a really major Hollywood gig. All these bands had come been brought together for this event which was known as "The Trash Dance". This is a gig that I've seen several well-known rock writers mention -- including Miss Pamela and Danny Sugarman (both in memoirs) and I've always wanted to say this: I was there too.

One of the performers had been Iggy Pop and at that time one of my best friends was a former Stooges road manager. He's still my friend now in fact, but that's another story. Anyhow, at the time, the Stooges had broken up and Iggy had been flanked by these two other Detroit musicians that night... Fred Sonic Smith from the MC5 and Scott Morgan who was well known in Detroit itself. They'd been in LA shopping a tape, and they were staying in the same apartment building where the Stooges had last lived... a whole load of rock ppl used to live in this wild old building on the strip (it's renovated and the HQ of Miramax Films now)

After the gig there was a giant party at this house in Laurel Canyon. The house belonged to a band called Naughty Women who never did get that brass ring.... and there was a bazillion people at the house. My friend and I were there and got separated in the crowd. The crowd was huge, and somehow across the crowded room, I noticed Fred. I didn't know who he was, but we experienced that powerful moment of initial intrigue and attraction that some interpret as love at first sight and somehow while I don't recall who crossed over to whom, suddenly we were in each other's faces and wanting to know everything all about one another. It was a powerful connection.

One of the most fun moments that night was watching Fred Sonic Smith meeting the New York Dolls' Johnny Thunders. Johnny was thrilled to meet him. He said "Man I'm a big fan, I've got all your stuff on tape, I bring it with me everywhere"... at the end of the night it was Fred, Johnny and Iggy Pop closing the party. We all walked up the hill and kept walking. Iggy knew me well enough to know I usually had a car, but I didn't have the car that night, and we were just walking up hill endlessly. It was a real steep road in this silly Hollywood Hills subdivision called Mt. Olympus. Finally Iggy (Jim to his friends) figured out that no one had a car and we all had to walk back down the hill again. Sunrise was not far ahead of us.

"Let's not ever tell anyone about this" he made us all swear. Whatever, the secret is out now. I have told. :P Anyhow we all got in a cab and Johnny and Jim got all secretive and Fred got the sense they were trying to ditch us. It was real vibey. The Dolls were staying at the old Hollywood Ramada Inn (now I think this is where Hollywood and Highland complex is) and when we got to the front of the hotel driveway they jumped out and ran so Fred and I just stayed in the cab like whatever.... we talked until I was ready to pass out that night.

I had to go home. I remembered having a picture of the MC5 in a rolling stone portrait book called Shooting Stars. I stared at it until I fell asleep. I couldn't believe it. I went back to Hollywood and found him again the next day. I could not stay away. He was married to his first wife Sigrid then, and he was on his way back to Detroit. We spent about a week together, holed up in the old Tropicana Motel (Tom Waits used to live there too) while watching the World Series. Then, Fred and Scott rented a one-way drive-away rental and drove back to the midwest and out of my life.

I was devastated. Even though I was prepared for it from day one, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Here I was this useless 17 year old, and to me, Fred was this profound powerful heavy duty rock legend in the flesh. He also knew he was going back and this was just how it was, and he had seemed fine with it until the last day, he actually acted like I mattered a lot and he was real cut up about leaving, and the fact that he seemed to care had enormous effect on me. No one had ever been able to reach me and make me FEEL worth it before. I don't care how corny this sounds.

Anyhow, after Fred and Scott went back to Detroit, the remainder of the stooges in LA had this other band called THE NEW ORDER. This is an LP that exists, it's really terrible, and it has nothing to do with the well-known 1980s New Order. Dennis Thompson who was also in the MC5 with Fred, he was in this band, and I was around because of that friend of mine who was the former stooges Road Manager (Douglas) and one time I got up the nerve to get Dennis to call Fred for me. Fred and I spoke on the phone. It was real awkward. His wife had bought him a motorbike for his birthday. What could I say to that.

We never spoke again, but for about three years I used to fantasize moving to Detroit and somehow or another pursuing him. I planned to get into school in Detroit area, probably Ann Arbor. Doug was back in Michigan and I was keeping tabs on Fred any way I could, and it was like all of a sudden that I heard he was broken up with Sigrid -- but in the same breath I heard that, I heard he had somehow or another got with Patti.

I'd met her. I thought of her energy, I thought of him. I realized it was game over as far as I was concerned, and I was able to get over it and get on with my life. The minute I heard he was with her, I knew.

I had two other connections.... both coincidental. I moved north and was living in Seattle in 1980 and the very best girlfriend of a very dear friend Dan Easton there, was Stephanie who moved to New York and married Lenny Kaye. I talked to her a few times through Dan in the early years. They had a baby and the baby's name was Anastacia and I could not believe their luck. The baby slept til noon and stayed up with them late so they had a baby without being crushed by baby hours.

I lost touch with Dan eventually -- I fear forever. Then I wound up in Montreal and I met a glorious New Yorker named Josephine, whose sister was (at the time) married to Jay Dee Daugherty. Josephine was a great photographer and had been the photographer at Patti and Fred's wedding. She did a shoot with them subsequently, and was very sweet to give me two 5x7 prints of Patti and Fred on stage together in the 1980s. Josephine is a lifelong best friend of another best friend of mine, Darrel Ecklund who is a poet and famous goth in his own right.... who was a former lover of the Germs Darby Crash....

which takes us back around to another story altogether....

It's like it's all a small town and we all know each other some how.

Oh wait, there is one last leg of this long tale --

in 1980 when I left Seattle I spent a winter in New Orleans. It was mardi gras and a zillion people were thronging in the streets. People often talked to groups of other revellers and said stuff like "where ya from?" so these guys said "we're from Detroit......." and I was hanging on a lamp post and said in a dreamy kind of voice "OH yeah? I knew someone from Detroit once......" and these guys who were typical frat boys of no great import said "OH yeah? Is it Fred Sonic Smith?"

God help me I have no idea how they pulled that out of the ether.

Once Fred came to me in a dream and we talked, about seven or eight years ago, and he said "Hey, this isn't a dream, we're really talking, you know"

Nice.

Take care and much good will to you all.